unrelatedtouserboxes:

babel-infocalypse:

unrelatedtouserboxes:

the human life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach… warmed by the sun… unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life… 

do you need to talk

i wish i was a croissant 

(via aepollo)

diabolicalhardcore:

*MICKEY MOUSE VOICE* YOURE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF A GOD

(via terribletito11)

yourplayersaidwhat:

Player: What is this tavern even called?

DM: The Convenient Plot Device.

thatviolingirl:

Quotes from my Orchestra Conductor

You have to look at me. I’m very jealous of your eyes.

If something’s useless, then get rid of it. That’s relationship advice.

It’s like making curry. If you have more cinnamon than eggplant we have a problem.

I don’t think you’re dying, you’re not trying hard enough.

I am an executioner. Don’t stop until I cut the note’s head off.

Ooh, so sexual.

You’re talking to a baby right now! We want fortissimo accents! The baby should be crying!

1, 2, crunchier, go!

Today I took an online quiz and apparently I’m 95% female.

Highlight that spiciness!

You know this is the difference between good potatoes and bad potatoes *rants about potatoes for 10 minutes*

Make it spicier!

Can I have your eyeballs and earballs please?

Don’t let the audience see the heartbeat of America.

I’d say that was… Pretty freakin sweet.

So if I pass out, throw your cello to the side and catch me.

I hate to be a critic, but that wasn’t very sexy.

You’ve been surprised

Don’t murder my girlfriend!

Whimsical is my middle name

I practice, like you all need to

Jennifer, you look physically pained by my violin playing

Use that muscle emoji

(via you-had-me-at-a-major)

peychemilke:

teathattast:

Fucking prepare yourself for this one

(via cosima-is-bae)

toxicglooo:

sevensuptic:

sevensuptic:

sevensuptic:

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that 

(via you-had-me-at-e-flat-major)

anon:

(via aepollo)

english-history-trip:

schmergo:

When I walk into the mall and see Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween, I feel the same way Hamlet did when his mom married his annoying uncle so shortly after his father’s death.

Thrift, thrift, Horatio! the Halloween Mars Bars/Did coldly furnish forth the Christmas stockings

(via aepollo)

caprisuncat:

ratguzzler:

*from computer speakers* vsauce, *from suddenly behind you* michael here

*from inside your head* what if you were defenseless

(via setheverman)